Dave's Chronicle

Frozen Viagra in Snowholes - Sunday 21st February 2010

The walk down was cold. The bus was chilled. By Alford the inside of the windows were frozen. In short welcome to Winter! The Gordon Way for us started at the Suie Car Park which lets you start at almost 390 m. We had some concerns about snowy roads but Aberdeenshire Council's efforts and our uber calm driver's skill got us there safely.

The Way should be an 11 mile gaunt taking about 5.5 hours. However snow, a big group and buckets of sun meant that there was no benefit in trying to hurry. The first few ks were made easier by a kind cross country skier who had made a fine trail. Knock Saul was our first stopping point. Tap O North, Lochnagar and the Buck were all visible but we were fixated by a nearby hot air balloon. Despite the mild wind it managed to move about a mile or two. As we neared the B992 halfish way point we split in two. Alan's tarmac crew took the road to My Lord's Throat before cutting towards the Bennachie Centre. We continued back up the GW for a lunch of sun and food. After an age contouring the plateau we followed the road signs towards the cold forest and icy Bennachie centre. We had a visitor for a while in the middle of the walk. Peter, a Cairngorm committee member, wanted to meet us afore the joint April walk. He seemed amazed at the size of our party.

A welcome pub stop was had in Monymusk. The beer was good, but they were a little understaffed for our arrival. The welcome was warm and not affected by our furniture removal duties. Back in Aberdeen by seven we all had a bright "easy" walk in rather a lot of snow. Our new members seemed impressed!

Son Temperance - Saturday 23rd January 2010

It might not take much time to reach the Forest of Birse but it feels quite remote once you pass the green wellies. Apart from the odd Fungle traverse most folks prefer to visit Glen Tanar. We had originally planned this outing as a car circular but it turned into a through walk with a healthy bus population.

After departing the warm bus and avoiding the gaze of Birse Castle the group split into the high walk and the Jim walk. The high walk was ambitious for a Winter one and included four pancakes along the border. Gannoch was our first target, but poor visibility and soft for hard snow made slow progress. In theory the landrover track makes the going easier but visibility was down to 30 metres. At the plateau level the snow was deeper and the going more interesting. This was especially true when Peter and Steve decided to stand in each other's footsteps at the same time. Following the boundary posts we reached the Hill of Cat, where the ski goggles worked well. Between here and Cock Cairn we cut the high walk short. We descended into the valley beside the Water of Allachy. The snow had slowed us downand the January light deficit meant that a late wet lunch could be had in the forest before the Tanar arrival. The low ground had a lovely broilled ford and some picturesque scenes but varied between slush, snow and hard pack ice. Some very wet and tired walkers got back to Gordon's bus about a quarter to five. On arrival Jim told us the bad news. No one had got lost, injured, misplaced a walking pole or a glove. Our bus driver had had a 4am start and couldn't afford the time for a pub stop.

The benefit of not having a pub stop is that we made more sense on the way home, grumpy old men took nocturnal sleepy snaps and Doug went home to his wife sober. It was lovely to see so many newcomers having their first outing with the Stockets. Hopefully you'll come back after the boots and gaiters dry out.

Dundee Casuals, Ozzie Osbourne and Sleeping Plumbers - Saturday 5th December 09

It's the end of the working week but there's little time for peace as the early Saturday start, fancy dress garb and late bus home means Sunday could be rather quiet. At least tis only once a year.

Before we could stop moaning about the bus temperature we were at the Loch Kinnord causing a serious traffic hazard. We met a few folks here and within 5 minutes we were deposited at Ballater central. Here the party split three ways. The injured ate postcards, wrote on scones and shopped, the relaxed party headed along the railway while the rest took in some of the PannY Hills. Weather wise it was dreich with most waterproofs failing Peter's bandy legs and Willie's icy footwear. Shelter was scarce up on the hill, but was more plentiful than views. Lunch was served at a spit in the window bothy. After a fair clump of heather bashing we got back on track to the South Deeside Road. As committed Stockets we don't do road walking so some muddy farm tracks were followed. Everyone was back by four, and in the mood for fun and dry clothes. Coal fires were a welcome sight as was Dennis and his Egyptian tan.

The fancy dress parade started around 6 and there were some lovely sights! There were newspapers, a Cardinal, many devils, a cat whose tail was uncontrollable, Dennis the Mennis, the essence of Santa and more basques than Ann Summers. After a fine meal we retired to the rear function space.

Our panto performance was delayed by an introvert who had fallen asleep in the male dorm. Dennis provided some festive tunes while our actors entertained in their own special way. Where did Uncle Pervert get those glasses? Then the dancing started. Slowly at first but then most folks were up, although our Dutch President's dalliance with Peter President was a sight never to be forgotten. Think Carry on Film meets Top Gun via Doop. Another fine festive bash over with. Well worthy of a TGO club of the month.

Fencing with Chains - Sunday 8th November 09
 
The first coastal club outing was a slight gamble. Would anyone want to go for a flat walk, look at waves and travel down to the East Neuk? After a sneaky peek at the host's Gmail it appeared as if we may get toward break-even. In the end we covered the bus cost with 25 and a half paying walkers.
 
Despite the pickups in Stonehaven and Dundee (where we picked up the Dundee Branch Rep) the journey to the Kingdom was quicker than expected. The overnight chill was still there at the start of the walk, but the amazing light made up for the bulky jackets. Lower Largo is famous for Alexander Selkirk, but was also a fine start to our walk. How many previous walks have started outside a Spar style shop?

A borrowed President, Margriet, was the leader for the day but navigation wasn't really a problem. After escaping Largo, and the old railway line the sandunes and beach got smiled upon. On the beach the heavy jackets were shaken off for one minutes silence. The route then takes a tour by the Shell Bay Caravan Park. Then the lovely rocks, cliffs and chains appear. We overshot the Chain Walk start but thankfully Steve's tidal tables were correct.

The walk is a strange mix of scrambling, bumbling and proto Via Ferrata, but it works. Most chains can be bypassed if required, but veterans like Elaine did them all. Despite the hazards no-one got more than the off bruise or headrush. After the chains we met up with Sylvie. For those who don't know she  resembles a mermaid, and lures golfers onto the rocks. The rest of the walk was a little cooler, featured two deranged microlight pilots and some lovely coastal buildings. The bright winter sun kept up all day, and made the Bass Rock, Pentlands and the Isle of May rather close.
 
On arrival the bus driver told us about losing his top gears, potentially limiting us to 40mph. Luckily the considerate Stockets allowed him a diesel stop, afore we ventured into random Fife pubs. The turnout was great today, and twas lovely to see folks wanting to do something different. Were people attracted by the Chain Walk, the coastal concept or does Fife hold some mystical pull?
 

Dundee, Dogs and Heavy Breathing- Sunday 18th October 09

Jerry Sadowich makes really unkind reference to Dundee, hot water and Pot Noodles. However with the best of Michael Marra spirit The Stockets welcomes Dundonians along to walks, especially when they bring smokeable fish and contribute towards bus costs. Glen Isla to Glen Prosen was an ideal way for Alexis, Ann and Alec to join us for a daywalk.

It wasn't quite Winter but twas a little cooler than recent weeks and some frost appeared as we journeyed along the narrow and queasy road towards Auchallan. The fresh chilled air made me feel better and we were soon marching past twisted bridges and cheating hillwalkers. The stags were rutting around Cannes Glen and were rather entertaining, even if we couldn't see them in Autumnwatchvision. As we started to reach the plateau the visibility and temperature reduced. Finalty's peak was anything but, so we kept going off piste on a bearing toward Mayar. After lunch on the first Munro we happened across another club from Aberdeen. They were from the Fisheries Research Lab in Torry and they seem to have a big thing for dogs. After a second blind lunch stop on Dreish we took off for Lick and Glen Prosen proper. The only thing that slowed us down was the large deer herd that went toward the Burn of Lovie.

Relaxed and mildly weather beaten we went to Kirriemuir for a fine pint and the all important bag of crisps. We marvelled at Syvie's rocking shoes and by six we were on the breathless DVD coach, sniggering quietly and waving off Alexis et al.

Morrone Via Cults and The Cairngorms - Sunday 13th September 09

My first 7am start for a month or two left me a little jaded, despite that large bowl of Alford oatmeal. However the new faces and breaking even population got us wondering why. Was it the forecast, the 30th anniversary party, great company or the choice of walk? No matter the reason a good turnout gives us more options and makes for a fine atmosphere.

We were dropped at Baddoch, and then split Cairngorm Club style. A sociable fellow and former president went lonestar towards a Corbett and Loch Callater. The two main groups went up An Socach and Sgor Mor respectively. The Socach tribe had a longer walk in but were soon at the Easterly summit, where sacks were left. The walk to the true summit takes about 30 minutes, but got us into the heart of W Glenshee. Our weather began to improve, and the threatened when we had our lunch break at the sacks. Far off glimpses of the Morrone masts were possible with the low cloud. Just after lunch we met the Cults Club, whose Megabus was parked nearby on the A93. As the undulating ridge was followed it started getting hotter, and Tony skipped off to catch the backmarker. After a long walk and a great shrouded view of Bhuird we made Morrone. Sadly the descent was quite eventful for a guest who slipped and broke her wrist.

With the sun still shining we all had a few dehydrating drinks at the Fife Arms. September sun should be savoured. However Jim got a burnt neck and Liam went red. Dot was in fine fettle. She did her best to get me two girlfriends, and to see Tony's sixpack. Before the bus ran out of diesel we were heading back home listening to Peter's red pudding rants.

30 Years On...    Saturday 29th August 09

The last year of the Seventies was an interesting one. Two-Tone was the next big thing, new romanticism had yet to be invented and post punk was mixing electronica, prog, reggae and wonky soul. Politically the UK elected it's first female Prime Minister in the form of Mrs T. However something else happened that year. The Stocket Hillwalking Club of Aberdeen was formed and had its first walk.

Thirty years on and we're onto our fifth president and umpteenth committee line up. Disposable income, home ownership and car ownership have all increased over the period. New technology and fads continue to rule the hills. How many walking poles were used then? How many Munro guidebooks were produced? Were mobile phones portable? Would we have been happy relying on the output of black boxes for route-finding? Would soft shell or breeches be the best hill trouser?

Despite the macroeconomic and cultural changes the club survives. Through a mix of monthly daywalks, weekends away and social activities most members are active. Filling the bus may be more of a challenge than it used to be, but with lateral thinking and flexibility, club walking goes on.

Peter and Helen Stephen offered the use of their house and garden for the Club's 30th anniversary BBQ. Sadly I arrived late due to work commitments but the spread was already cooked and on the hotplate. Their garden is big and healthy despite the random dead fruit plants. This was a fine venue with enough toys and space to keep us active. Toywise we had a fine large trampoline and a punch bag. Our host tried to get Leslie up to speed on garage boxing but her heart wasn't in it. Rather a lot of us took turns on the trampoline, burning off the fine food. Our next bouncing gold medal hope is Liz although Tracey's exploits and precautions were not easily forgotten. It was a relaxed afternoon with the first airing of Nick's other half and loads of chatting atween members. The weather stayed pretty much kind, we were well behaved and Peter showed us his naval holiday video. All in all a fine way to spend a Summer afternoon chatting about the hills and getting spoilt by our French / Welsh chefs and Scottish hosts. An event well worthy of the 30th Anniversary.

Sheep Free Spout - Sunday 19 July 09

The bus out to Glen Muick resembled the 201 Deeside bus as it only had 10 bodies at the start and made various pickups on route. In total we ended up with thirteen folks. Our teacher told us of the planned breaks and route while our Polish driver had amazing Doric.

Our party was slightly peeved at the fifteen pounds coach parking fee. Is this to raise funds for path building, dissuasion of clubs or to keep coached parked in free lay-bys? Hungover Nick got us keenly to the Pap Col in two hours, just as per Liz's prescription. The rain got a little heavier here and three in the party went for the trad "ladder" approach to Lochnagar. We descended between the boulders towards the Mountain Rescue Post, with it's sobering avalanche polls. The Spout looking pretty daunting from here, and the rain made us less sure-footed. After grassie contouring we found the path of sorts and split into two groups. Despite fears the BS was not as loose as feared, with only a couple of minor rockfalls that we might blame on a sole climber. Halfway up we entered the dog-leg route that involves the Chockstone. This feels slightly out of place on a hillside but is fine training for aspiring potholers and gill scramblers. The heavy rain made the rock a little tricky but wriggling ensured that all got through safely. The last push was looser but the microgrit was quite safe. Looking back from the top the route looked rather daunting but enticing. Before we topped the true summit we contacted the other party and donned fullproofs. The summit was wet, cold and had poor visibility. After a mild navigation error we attained the Glas Allt path where the weather became more open and sunny. This was a great vantage point to watch the tourists in trainers clutching camcorders and grimaces. Further down the waterfall was amazing and the bright day continued as we accelerated past the Muick circularists.

As soon as Liz got on the bus we gave our talkative driver directions to park in Ballater. After seven hours wandering the hills we needed to rehydrate. The POW, our first choice had locked their doors to dissuade custom so we went to the Balmoral Bar instead. In the bar good beer was supped, Elaine got a new admirer and the rest of us had a fine chat about the important birthdays happening in Stocketland this year. We were soon on the smokey bus tired, weather beated and satisfied with our day out. This was my first Spout ascent and I found it rather fun and a great way of ascending Lochnagar.

Midnight Meanderings in Record Time - Friday 19 & Saturday 20 June

Despite concerns about turnout the 2009 midnight walk attracted 25 cloud worshippers. We were moving by 11.15 and admiring the Inversneckie toilets by 2am. Quiet highways and steady driving got us to the Fort's parking space, where clothing was adjusted. Our bus was then displaced toward dark narrow roads but soon the midgies and a Rights of Way sign found us.

With Peter on leadership duties we made fine progress. First breakfast was taken outside a bothy, after our leader's decided to wake the inhabitants and their dogs at 0515. The bothiests were friendly and chatted to us for 10 minutes. The Corrie Pass was quiet, save the shy deer and odd bird. The pull toward the summit was long and steady for sleep deprived walkers. As height was gained we were rewarded with a tepid wind, poor visibility and a tiny cairn. Breakfast take two happened on the other side, downwind of heavy machinery on the hillside. The rest of the pass was pretty flat, populated with random houses, rickety bridges and metalled for the last 4 miles or so. We waved to the Great Glen Walking Club who were doing our route in daytime reverse. After 16 miles and rather a lot of ascent we were all glad when the pylon count became zero.
The advance party were at Garva Bridge by 11am, and supping their first pint for 11.15. The Wade Bridge / Spey setting is a lovely barbie venue and we had a great one. The sun eventually came out and the Sainsburys trays kept going for over 80 minutes. Peter was head cook, ably assisted by Quick Nick. We believe that Mr S was getting practice for the 30th Stocket Birthday celebration, which will be held in his back garden. We stopped in Aberlour on the way back and were refreshed by the sunny ice-cream and beer gardens. Two hours later the bus had dropped is us off in Stocketsville.

Bordering Braeriach - Saturday16th May 2009

The prospect of meeting the Stockets and ascending the third highest hill in the UK brought some welcome guests along for the ride. The forecast was nae that inspiring but was better than Friday's. The journey to Aviemore's ski road is lengthy but the misty road after Huntly kept us awake.

We started around 10am and left the bus driver and son to have a leisurely day in Cairngorm Country. The path to the Charlamain Gap was very well designed and only disappeared when we encountered the couthy boulderfield. Despite the wet week the rocks were quite grippy. Between the Gap and the Ghru path we met a fair few wide eyed walkers returning from the hills. We had a meal stop on the path to refuel and discuss options. Sticking as a group and bagging seemed the "sensible" option. The initial ascent was well engineered but soon became a muddy rocky scar. Rain, very gusty winds and poor visibility made for slow progress but at least we had the hill virtually to ourselves. Dotted snowfields, ice and navigational challenges kept us awake. However we made the summit safely and found the top was sheltered from the biting wind. Further plateau meanderings were ruled out and we retraced our steps to get home for a sensible time. Our descent was quicker than the 3 hour climb and we reached the LG at 4.30. We were then treated to sun, which added rosyness to our windblown features. Despite the length of the day Marathon Jim did the odd spot of running, but Graeme could smell the beer and arrived back in the first tranche.

Despite the late hour we still needed out sniff of pub culture. Sadly the Hilton is more airport lounge than howff, and didn't sell any real ale or local brews. Thirty minutes in the pub was our quota despite Graeme's protests. One hundred and fifty minutes lates we were in Aberdeen, slightly sleepy.

Goldsworthy’s Glen Clova Munros - Sunday 19th April 09

The lack of humans resulted in a bus cancellation this month. This certainly didn’t mean no walk as Jim became the transport planner and motivational guru for the day. It had been a gray week in Aberdeen but the forecast looked tasty for out sextet.

Our drive to Clova was quite bright until we headed inland. On arrival an extra layer was attained and we discovered that only disabled walkers need toilet stops. Escaping the forest we had our first break and sun. The views opened up with fine waterfalls, Keen’s cone and the dull side of Lochnagar on show. The slow pull up the Fee Burn was rewarded with a panorama to the Cairngorm peaks, Glenshee and beyond and S past Backwater. After leaving Mayar we summitted Dreish where we lost our females. The four of us continued along the ridge where Jim refused extra rations despite his cheese roll incident. We motored past Bassies and Cairn Inks, where some landscape artist had been at work. Following a tussocky and marshy descent we marooned ourselves at the pub.

The Glen Clova had everything to offer the weary walker except real ale. Here we were reunited with the fairer sex and Pluto. We had a lovely relaxing drink reflecting on our hill day and hot-tubs in Knoydart. A couple of tips – Don’t employ Alexis as a barmaid and cover your arms when it’s sunnier than you realise. Our through walk seemed to contrast with the majority of walkers we met on the hills. Some walkers run but today the Stockets savoured.

Chips, Cheese and Two Corbetts - Saturday 14th March 09

The 7am starts are approaching but the extra hour in bed means attendees are a little more perky and talkative. Extra pickups were made in Crathie and Banchory but the interesting MWIS forecast kept us awake. Our driver was able to recognise the Inver from my description but almost handbraked into Keiloch. Strangely this did not help my queasiness.

Keiloch was colder than expected so after some clothing adjustments we were heading towards Alltdourie and the Elrick turnoff. We had a little confusion as Nick couldn't find the signpost of the first hill. The forest ascent was gradual and caused more adjustments afore we breakfasted beside Little Elrick. Light showers were a featre of the first half of the walk but most of us were too busy concentrating on the steady pull up to Carn Liath proper and the gusty behaviour. Visibility was Corbett perfect and was only limited above 1000 metres. Lunch was taken between Liath and the estate hut come hall. In theory this was an escape from the wind but in reality there was good views and a natural playground. Liz, Peter and Nick exploited this playground well but paid the price for winter frolicks. The party split after the break with the majority getting blown up the second Corbett, Culdaroch. A satisfying descent took us rapidly down into Glen Feardar past Bhonic and past the heritage hamlet of Auchtavan. We soon caught up with the other group then split into tarmac and intolerance.

All bar two walkers were in the Inver by 4.40ish. A motorised search party soon found Felix and Gordon much to our relief. By the time the stragglers arrived the crisps had ran out and Peter's chip fetish was in full swing. After an hour in the pub were back in the coach dodging old lady drivers and tammies.

Bring Snow Sweet Chariot Sunday - Sunday 15th January 09

The penultimate 8am start was still welcome, especially to those frustrated by Aberdeen City Council's gritting efforts. Our bus arrived nice and early and our Orcadian bus driver surprised us by wearing a well thumbed Buff.

The trip out to the Don View was quick but sadly the toilets were shut for the season. Millstone was our first ascent and we took the indirect route that skirts round the summit. Steep snow ascents were not to be avoided however, but the descents are always more fun. After an early break below Mither Tap we started the slow ascent onto the plateau proper. Most folks lost their legs into a stream or drift at some point but unlike the Sidlaws no-one got "ambulance" hurt. Tap was somewhat windy but was strangely devoid of non Stockets. Visibility was decent, but views limited by a dearth of solar activity. Trudging across the tops was slow going, and one grumpy punter even broke his gaiters. But at least he has the calves for said garmets, a la Alexis. The wet snow took us up Craigshannock, Oxen, Witch and Hermits but the blunder across to Black Hill was the most bothersome, moving us south of the Gordon Way. However the sun splattered Deeside hills made our journey worthwhile. After briefly joining the GW we took nervous Nick through a bull free field and over some fences toward Auchleven.

The trudge along the highway took us back to the bus for around 4pm. The Sweet Chariot was soon flowing down our necks while the rugby, rebellious jukebox and pool all happened in the background. Liz liked the beer so much that she bought a pint! Our warm pub was soon exchanged for a fast journey back into Aberdeen. On paper the seven tops looks a ramble but given wet and (somewhat deep) snow it was a much more serious workout, which is more cost effective that a direct debit to some faceless gym.

The Temperance Ramble - Saturday 3rd January 09

Gender equality was the call of the day for the first Stockets outing of 2009. After a brief discussion of options we wanted a straightforward walk not too far from Stocketland. Glen Tanar was chosen as a fine destination. Following a chat with some Bennachie flavoured Coffin Dodgers we were soon on the road.

The Carpark at Tanar was chilled but thankfully had less ice than the River Dee, and its various tributories. Our chosen route was around Baudy Meg and then along the highways. This was a perfect Winter day with decent light, zero precipitation and a fridgecore feeling. We started at nineish and Elaine soon had her second warm jacket off. The pull up Meg's shoulder was slow and steady but the glimpses afforded to the White Mounth and North Deeside were lovely. After our first stop we ambled, saw lots of footprints and eventually met a succession of other walkers. Lunch was taken at the steps aside one of the many Tanar brigs. The cold snap made for some fine ice displays and frozen grasses. After crossing the Water of Tanar we heard all about tucking t shirts into shorts. Not a popular gym fashion it seems! By about 2.30 we were back at the cars where Jim kept wheel spinning to impress the ladies.

The Boat Inn had been eagerly anticipated by all, but after being directed to the public bar things went downhill. No heating, loud TV, no atmosphere and smelly dogs put us off the place. However they do have a lovely picture of Aberdeen Harbour.

Delightful December Dalliance - Saturday 6th December 08

The December darkness and shopping blues are best overcome by the infamous Stockets Xmas party, with attached walk. Leaving an icy Aberdeen we were confronted by a number of diversion signs. Being a little headstrong we ignored them to find the road closed a few miles E of Aboyne. We did a swift 3 point turn afore doing another one which led us through ground under repair. Our party gear was quickly dispached to the Loch Kinnord afore we took the icy road to Ballater.

The main walk started at the Pass of Ballater and followed the snowy landrover track onto the shoulder of Peter's Hill. Despite the snow underfoot the weather was absolutely perfect, with great views of Ben A'an, Lochnagar and Mt Keen. The lack of daylight hours and prior experience kept us on the track at Morven's feet. After our lunch, just S of Roar Hill we made the mildly treacherous ascent of Culbean Hill. A Mr P Stephen kept participating in the not falling through the ice game. However he kept breaking the ice which made for slow but entertaining progress. We contoured round the top and did our best to find the connecting path to the Burn O Vat. At the Vat centre most of the main walkers went clockwise round Kinnord while we went anti-clockwise. The path was terribly icy but the views were wondrous with Tenko sunsets and snowy tops.

After arriving back at the party central we had a quick change, drink and chatted with the railway line / Cambus group. Michael had his laptop so was able to show photos of the day's walk and prior ones. Fancy dress happenings saw Sir Steve Redgrave shrink and gain a paddle, a Greek mistaken for a Roman and Citizen Smith reserrected. The 118 twins and team Colin Isobel got the most press attention, while Tracey's sticky horse and my wig also got noticed. After the meal, raffle and Peter's food fight we made our way to the fuction suite. Dapper Dennis and our other Corgi Registered friend were the main entertainers, assisted by Alec and the cast of Strictly. Strictly was rather fun and who would have thought that Alexis would make a good dumb-blond. Before we stopped smiling it was Cinderalla time and the dancing had been going on for 2 hours. The 2 am arrival home make for a long day but twas well worth missing the office party for.

Is it North or South to Edzell? - Sunday 16th November 08

It's cold, wet, dark, November and 7am but we get a good turnout. Well some things make sense, even if the forecast seemed a little off-kilter. The bus was a few minutes late and Piotr smiled as we boarded. He drove down towards the turnoff, overshot and aimed straight for Dundee. However a dodgy radiator had us stop and reassess the situation. After a change of direction our bus went kaput again and Gordon was contacted for a replacement bus. The bus limped, reversed and almost undershot our liaison point. This happened to be the land that time forgot, Strathacro Services) where much tea, coffee and bacon rolls were undertaken. After a while bodywarmer man and his bus arrived for a swap.

The wasted daylight was annoying but for practical reasons we turned the walk into a horse-shoe effort from Fernbank. Our aim was to traverse the landrover hills surrounding Mt Battock. Virtual motorways take the weary up Mt Een, Bennygray, Western Cairn near to the Battock summit. The cold had stayed for the walk, but thankfully the sun was out. The strong Winter sun may be a pain for driving but affords lovely crisp views over the Mounth hills and beyond. The windchill was biting and some folks had four layers on. The hardy pertex trio made do with two and retained heat. After a welcome trackless downhill section we attained the Hill of Saughs before finding a lovely MTB track winding downhill. Our last break was on the Hill of Turret soaking up the sun and basking in the hazy Wirren hills.

Back at the bus afore three we nipped to Edzell's only visible hostelry, located across from the Scout Committee Meeting. After blocking up the bar we liberated the furniture to our own and Peter's cosy satisfaction. Five hours on the hill followed by an hour in a warm pub was bliss. Back at the bus we were in ice again but everyone remained tense until we turned North on the dual carriageway toward Stocketland. Home by six, despite the delays was a finely rounded day. I wonder what time the Cairngorm Club etchers got home?

Two Munros, Two Pints and Two Hours Early - Sunday 19th Oct 08

Despite one sleepy head not turning up we were soon struggling to get up Westburn Road. Our new driver got us safely to Braemar, after stalling, taking a wrong turning and baking 12 Stockets. The weather forecast suggested a strong SW wind so we reversed the walk to go N instead of S.

The bus had been warm but at the start line gloves, gaiters and goretex were donned. Starting at a reasonable height has its advantages but hardly gives our bodies much of a warm up. Our walk confirmed theforecast and during the ascent of our first hill, Creag Leacach, most of us were virtually blown off our feet. Buffetting continued on and off as we wandered along the ridge. The ridge was covered in cloud and the rain was entering our goretex horizontally. Despite the fun conditions we still saw mountain hares, a couple of deer, ptarmigan, grouse and a shy animal that wears Nevica gloves. We heard stags rutting but sadly never saw the beasts in action. After Glas Maol the concensus was for less wind battering, drier climes and an early bus home. So we made our way down to the road, contouring round Sron na Gaorthe. However one wag went to thesummit and became surgically attached to the trig point. Following a short road walk Steve and I were back at the bus for 2.15, about 4.5 hours after starting. The earlier heater incident was now forgotten and we welcomed the warm dry bus. Note to president - bring dry breeks!

We patronised the Inver again. The main reason is that Peter hadn't interrogated a female in a green bodywarmer for the best part of a year. We found out about their downsized lodge plans, fireplace investigations, holey dancefloor and bar resettlement plans. However no-one had the courage to query the lack of real ales. But we did the get the impression that the Stockets Xmas party would never be held here. Just too many barriers! After Liam confessed to attending this year's Xmas party in the nude we had to leave the establishment.

Two Munros, Three Groups and a White Bridge - Sat 13th September 08

With the mind numbing properties of Radio 2 we were soon making the way towards Glen Feshie. The gender imbalance has begun it's reversal but the three hour journey to Auchlean left us all a little sleepy. Sylvester got us right to the farm and as Liz finished her fifth pork pie it was time to go.

We split into two groups. The easy party followed the valley to White Bridge and the rest of us took the Munro option. Steve went for the easy 20 mile walk while 9 of us went bagging. Initially the weather was uber mild, but as we ascended and came into cloud the rainy wind cooled us. Despite being slightly windblown we were soon on the ridge taking careful bearings to find Tom Dubh. After a fun stream crossing and a slogsome ascent we made the first peak. However some nameless person only made it by slipstreaming. Here the party split again with six of us attaining Bhrotain and three descending below Loch nan Stuireag. The view up top was consistently misty with no rain. After pausing for the obligatory photos we followed Allt Garbh down for a spongy descent, crossed a lovely slabby waterfall and met some frogs. At the Dee Bob realised his lack of water was caused by human error rather than human thirst. The walk to Linn of Dee was longer than expected but gave good progress. We caught up with the "easy" walkers afore the bus but there was no sign of the Mono-Munrobaggers. They turned out to be the last to arrive and it transpired that they had been slowed by the hydrofields and long walk out. But at least they hadn't floated down the river or spoiled the group effort of Dot's crossword.

The Inver was chosen for the third time in a row but sadly they were closed to one and all. Excessive cloud? Option two was Ballater so we went through the dreish to the Prince and chatted about Gairloch and forthcoming walks. Well done to the group for navigation effort, Nick for the energy sapping pace and our hosts, Dot and Willie for the sort of through walk that clubs do so well.

Baddoch to Inverey via The Wind Tunnel  - Sun 17th August 08
 
Despite the MWIS forecast one persistent female and twelve gentlemen participated in the August walk. Gusty winds up the tops, mist and periods of heavy rain were all expected. One Stocket even took a pocket radio to keep in touch with Radio Scotland's prayers. We had to detour through Torphins because of a serious accident. This resulted in us tailgaiting another coach, which contained Lairig Ghru walkers from the Telephones Club. After a brief stop in Braemar and chat with the other club we were ready to start.
 
Badoch was soon attained and here we met a small pack of Army Cadets who appeared quite bedraggled and unfamiliar with kissing gates. The rain made a serious entrance here and only got lighter when Steve caught us up at GrouseGrit.com corner. Here the luxury landrover track was left in pursuit of Loch nan Eun. Pockets of sunshine could be seen when looking at the peaks but it was always elsewhere. After lunch at the loch the party split into Baggers and Toppers. Peter, Dave Wood and Liz pursued the Bheag top while the rest went for the full Mhor ascent. We al had to endure blasting winds and pockets of persistent mist. But we were gratefully for the respite of the summit cairn. The summit ridge gave us occasional views but the wind made our eyes water. The wet ground and string weather made the descent a little unpleasant but we were soon safely down on the flat and marching towards the ruined lodge at Altanour. A final short break here was followed by the walk out along Glen Ey, where Nick and I gained some female company.
 
We reached Inverey's car park about 7 hours after starting and were dry thanks to the tumble drying up top. However one Stocket retreated to the nearby phone booth for a costume change. Basically Clark Kent left and Gordon Stalker appeared 10 minutes later. After a short discussion the Inver was braved for the second time. Just don't ask them about chips as freedom fries can't be shared. After two slow pints we made our way back to Aberdeen, heard the Presidential Address and fell asleep. Despite the interesting weather the 400m start and gradual ascents resulted in a lack of dogtiredness. But where were the female Stockets?
 

The Gray Puffy Hands on Macdui  - Saturday 16th July 08

Was it the thought of the Derry Road, the holiday season or the international meet that obliterated attendance? Eight attended this walk, including one newbie with a comedy slot at the Edinburgh festival. The bus had a DVD playing for half the journey which featured Scottish hills, a husky voiceover, copter fly throughts and an irritating ambient soundtrack. This killed conversation and allowed Gordon to reduce his sleep deficit.

We departed Linn of Dee around 0915 and made steady progress to Derry Lodge, but the beasts kept us moving for another mile or so. The famous Ghru road was busy and not exactly "remote". We soon split into easy and "not so easy parties". Ou ascent of Carn a Mhaim was on a steep but well made path and the muggy conditions soon created soggy t shirts. The top was attained by 1.30 and luckily the early mist lifted. We had great views of the Western Ghru corridor as a well as an encounter with a minimal hillman. Our ridge was delightful and ended sooner than we wanted. The slog up to the Ben was a fair grind due to the boulders but we eventually found some grass and a plateau. Near to the summit cairn Alan's beard appeared along with Kirsty and Anna. After a photo session we joined up with the trio for the return leg. The group had a reindeer viewing and lovely weather for the descent. We washed feet and faces at Derry and eventually got the bus.

Following a rigged vote the man with the puffy hands decided the Inver was the best pub. After 10 hours of wonderful walking we had plenty to talk about. However Jason and I spent more time re-hydrating than gabbing. Hillwalking - a day out or a metaphysical act that changes lives? Only Irish anthropologists have the answer. The Inver lacked real ales and a little gas, but was welcoming and a fair alternative to the Fife Arms.
 

Midnight Walk: Plockton or Poolewe? - Fri 20th -Sat 21st June 08

Not sleeping well, busy at work, a bit hung-over or feeling a little unwell? Well a solution exists in the form of the infamous midnight walk. A sexually unbalanced group of 13 gathered at The Atholl for a liquid sleeping tablet or two.

The late hour and incomplete darkness made for an interesting drive. Hammerhouse clouds, wandering deer, Stalker's empty Tesco basket, the odd pocket of mist and hill outlines kept me awake. We arrived at Incheril car park at 3am and were soon moving to keep warm. The light was strong enough to dissuade head torches but most folks are still a little less spatially aware when sleep deprived. Slioch loomed large above us while the Torridonian peaks S of Maree kept us mesmerized for the first half of the walk. The route to Letterewe was not that easy to follow and we ended up closer to the Loch than was required. From Furnace the route and paths were much easier to follow, but this may have been correlated to our breakfast intake. Our ascent away from the Loch brought us closer to the Corbetts, free campers and Fisherfields. It also reminded us that the common cuckoo likes ladies with poles, and one of the wild (albeit groomed) horses liked SMHU's Gordon. We stopped every 2 hours or so to consume more breakfast, admire dead fish, sunbathe and wonder who the leader was. But eventually we reached the yappy croft of Kernsary and limped along to Poolewe around 9 hours after starting.

Us ramblers arrived weary but relaxed in the village. So relaxed that it took a fair while for anyone to even lift the BBQ gubbins from the bus. The cooking capacity and heat were both limited so we bodged through and complaints were restricted to one flask drinker. We livened up the place for a few hours before Gordon and his luxury coach dropped us home 20 hours after departing. Going to the NW of Scotland when it's warmish, midge free, dry and clear is a rare but fine occasion.

Ben A'an - Bed of the Yellow Stag - Sunday 11 May 08

With Gordon's new boots, a week of Aberdeen sunshine and luxury bus, a little thing like locked toilets wasn't going to spoil our day. The group decided upon two routes. Steve led the full mountain day while Jim took the "easy" 17 miler. We started around 9am and soon split into factions. Our first stop came at the ruin a couple of muggy hours after starting. The high tops were shrouded in mist but the Bhuird cliffs and the odd tor came into view. Lunch was served at the Sneck and not too soon for fly Doug.

After refreshments we were soon up on the summit tor, amazed by the warmth and strong sun. Views came and went but Spiderman Steve seemed happy scrambling. Sunscreen was applied and we meandered across the undulation A'an plateau. Thick mist, snow underfoot and some amazing tors made for a lovely traverse. All good things come to an end and the descent down to the Linn on Avon was jarring but uneventful. After the excitement and challenges of the Munro the march across landrover tracks to Corgarff never seemed to end. However Steve shephered Nick and myself into arriving first.

After a quick change our thirsts were satisfied by three pints from the Cairngorm Brewery Company. Liz was too polite to name it fully but the ovine ale was most pleasant. The Builig crew had been emptying Jim's wallet for an hour before we wandered in. Maybe it's best not to mention Alexis' street doctor routine in the pub. It may just get us banned. We didn't quite have four seasons in one day but it was great to have the contrasts of Deeside, the most Easterly Cairngorm peak, sun blindness and the moorland and tarmac of Donside. The coach driver and his lady got us safely through the Donside underbelly afore reaching Liz's drop off at 8.15. Maybe next time The Stockets are in the area they'll test out the pee-shed theory for the Dee and Don, pursuade Doug to get a smaller flask and get everyone up the main tor.
 

Lochnagar - White Mounth White -  Saturday 12th of April 08

The first early start of the year reduced numbers but we were soon fumbling for twenty pences on a string at Ballater's facilities. Our slow drive up to Loch Muick was heightened by the posturing deer on the roadside. We left around 9am deciding upon two walks. The weather put play to out Glas Allt ascent so the main Lochnagar path was taken by all. At around 700m and after a tea break the group slipt into Corbett and Munro baggers.

The Lochnagar party was led by Steve with able assistance from GPS Jim and Michael. The snow made for slow progress and the 50 yard visibility didn't help. With Sylvie back to mid-season form and careful avoidance of the cliffs we eventually encircled a calm Cac Carn Beag at 1.30 pm. Prudence dictated a return to our split point, thus avoiding group use of Steve's ice axe. Despite the visibility issues a fair number of ptarmigan were spotted and heard.

 The skies became clear again below 800m which made for an open walk to Crathie car park. Apart from distractions such as the Landrover Safari and Bear Gryllis low-flying a plane Deeside West we had trudged to the coach by 6pm. It turned out that the Corbeteers had been there for two hours plus without an alcoholic beverage.

 The Prince of Wales was visited by our sunburnt cheeks for only half an hour, although the strupag deficit resulted in Tracey getting attention from two bodachs in another hostelry. Special mention should go to Felix who completed his first Munro, the climbers we met en route, Steve's effective pilotage and Liz for having a full pint in the POW.

The Fungle - Sunday 16th March 08

Today's turnout was encouraging with eight guests leaving on two spaces on the bus. The bus or over inflated school taxi was not exaclty designed for hillfolk and associated luggage. Nevertheless our quiet driver got us to Tarfside and almost forgot to stop.

Despite our somewhat queasy journey the throng were soon following the roadsigns and heading into the wind. Elevensies overlooked Cainy Hill with West Wirrell and West Knock on the horizon. The optimistic applied sunscreen and the rest admired Sylvie's liquid. After reaching the Col we slowly descended to the crossroads where lunch was taken. The shower started after the Birse castle detour and only desisted when Nick and Charlie donned waterproof troos at the lodge. Could this be a future Xmas venue? The delightful but trippy forest path was then followed to The Guard before we met again at the Boat Inn.

The Rangers' public bar was forsaken in favour of the trainspotter paradise next door. The Doug n Dave roadshow was in fine fettle as was Captain Scarlett. Our route up Lochnagar, chicken bones, privacy signs and The Fungle were all chewed over two pints. Who needs peak bagging when hill tracks need to be traversed?

Pannanich Hills  - Saturday 17th February 08

The short day and unpredictable winter conditions didn't affect attendance. The manual spreadsheeters found twenty one on the bus, including five guests.
 
The Stockets left the warm bus at Deecastle into a chilled air. The air temperature was soon forgotten as we heather bashed up Slai na Gour. After a spot of sunbathing we were soon bagging along the ridge. The strong sun made the Mounth a splendid sight. Our pull up Knockie Branar was the most rewarding. We had an amazing view of the Cairngorm platter. It was snow covered and other-worldly. One Stocket, Gordon, wondered what they were. The answer lay on his jacket. Lochnagar and Mt Keen looked very tempting but were sadly a step too far. During a Pedro discussion it was concluded that GPS is incompatible with caving. After displacing a large herd of deer we wandered for a few miles before displacing the same herd. Our final break was on Pannanich Hill, where final snaps were taken and views absorbed. Tracy then got an electric shock after Steve and I nearly demolished a fence atop dyke. The peace of our descent was only interrupted by Ian's revering bass.
 
We were back in Ballater and supping our first drinks by half four in the Prince of Wales. Liam won the best beamer award, but sadly no prize was forthcoming. Now where are those sunglasses?
 

Tap O' Noth - 20th January 2008

Depending on who is consulted we had between 18 and 21 souls for the first walk of the new year. A comfort break at Asda's Huntly branch had us debating the effectiveness and efficiency of a £15 suit. The walk started about 20 minutes later at a farm a couple of squares North of map 37.
 
It was easy walking until the patchy ice became more permafrosty. The correct forest turnings were engaged and we soon coasted over the bridge towards the dilapadated Old Meldrum steading. We then went off-piste towards the base of the Tap. This was fun and involved Derek and Bob forest blazing. Eventually the sensible landrover track to the summit was located but two thirds up it seemed more apt to clamber up the foliage (to avoid the ice). The windy summit, although modest in height is interesting and panoramic. As we all assembled for lunch Derek shared is eye mayo sandwich receipe, which involved the obvious ingredients with a pinch of curry powder. Said members moist cake larder was also commented upon. The early lunchers were soon striding down the ice free hillside and through a field or two towards Newseat, afore reaching the ghost town of Rhynie for 2pm.
 
Our walk host Sylvie had already arrived and sampled the "atmosphere". The Gordon Arms was awakened by our presence despite Bob's ill-advised foray into Aussie lager. After a couple of drinks and a discussion of field imprisonment for joy riders Sylvie was soon directing us to the bus. But sadly we never found out if joy-riders wear cheap suits.
 

Brown Cow Hill  - The Hogmanay Walk  2007

After a brief discussion of potential hills and associated hostelries Strathdon's Brown Cow Hill was decided upon, despite the initial lack of Aviemore maps.  Corgarff Castle was agreed as the rendezvous point.

Six vehicles, eleven engaitered humans and a couple of bespoke "girls" called Megan and Lola came along for the trek. We started around ten in the ground of said bright castle, before joining the land rover track that ascends Carn Oighreag. Sadly the icy track was left and we skitted through the frozen peat hags before reaching the cold and misty summit plateau. After finding the true summit cairn and a cold snap lunch we descended down to Meoir Veannaich and forward to Inchmore. The drizzle got a little heavier and the tarmac access road back to the cars was taken, where another discussion ensued. 

The discussants favoured Ian's invitation, as long as the Treasurer could get some beer and soup. Our convoy took the dreich road back to Ballater before arriving at an easterly Aboyne home. Said house has the sort of view that Colin Baxter would hanker after. This was more dramatic given the haunted Deeside corridor with its perforated forest. We were expertly fed and watered before departing for Aberdeen's fog lights, eight hours afore 2008. 

Christmas Walk and Party  -  8th December 2007

Despite the cold bus trip and relatively late start the Stockets were in fine form. Morrone's dusted ascent warmed folk up before the chilled lunch stop reminded us of Winter proper. The meander along the ridge was hampered slightly by driving snow showers. The group then split into the keen beans who tacked another hillock, and the others who joined the path for home. On the road home two nubiles were keen to accost Dave and Liam but were unsuccessful.

Most walkers returned by 4.30 or so and perchanced a shower and changed. No coal fires were found but a number of rooms were investigated including the drawing room which proved an excellent Mar Lodge meeting space. The G&Ts were savoured and fancy dress donned before the camera marathon started. Has no-one heard of file sharing?

Into the function room we wandered for our alcoholic three courses. Before the dancing penny whistles were played, speeches made and The Apprentice displayed. Tracy fell early in the dancing and Peter provided ribbed assistance. We stayed warm by gyrating to popular beat combos as well a Jimmy Shand session. A very wet road home resulted in a home time approaching 3am.

The fancy dress? Just ask the seven foot school girl with the Alice Cooper uniform....

Glen Esk to Glen Clova -  11^th  November 2007

Another stagecoach populated with more than twenty members departed at 7am on a crisp November day. Sylvester, the driver of choice, got us calmly to Glen Esk without direction or prompting from one G Stalker. The air temperature was slightly lower at Loch Lee, and Steve calmly reassured us that the wind would be at our backs. The clouds darkened and snow started to perforate the warmest of fleeces.

Despite the wintry conditions the pace was only halted for two minutes of Remembrance, and Dave Cook's stunt man fall near a stream. After sightings of mountain hares and deer we eventually heathered it up the Corbett, Ben Tirren.

Despite the wind-chill freezing a water bottle or two lunch was gobbled before the final ascent and welcome descent to the Glen Clova Hotel where a number of folks had conflabs about the Elie Chain Walk, the strength of the local real ale and the gentrification of the Climbers Bar. Did we mention the Christmas party?